Frustration sets in!

"One who believes that he has mastered the art of horsemanship has not yet begun to understand the horse."       

                                        Author unknown

It's been over a week since my last great experience with Annabelle, as described in my last post.  I really thought I had it under control.  I knew what I was doing!  She was now going to be the best horse ever for me!  She'd be eating right out of my hand and doing everything I asked her to do!  I hit the jackpot!  All my efforts were paying off!  

Well... not so fast.  Reality has slapped me in the face!  You see, things haven't gone so smoothly since that last great day, and despite all the improvements we've made so far, we seemed to have gone backwards and she started displaying some of those old bad habits! 

I truly believed that if I built trust between us, got her totally relaxed, and got her the right saddle, she would be such a pleasure to be around all the time.  Well, just like people, horses can be very complex, with their own set of experiences, feelings, and ways of responding and thinking.  

  

I thought I knew her, but it seems I'm still trying to figure her out, and I suppose that time will help with that.  Translating her behaviors into what they mean is a bit like detective work or putting a puzzle together.  Sometimes I get the right answer, and other times I'm clueless.  Patience will be my best friend here.

So, what did she do to make me feel we're going backwards, all in one week?  She's been fighting me about being saddled and bridled and as usual, about me mounting her.  Last Friday was the last straw for me.  As I tried to put the saddle on her,  she kept moving away from where I was standing, first all the way to one side, then all the way to the opposite side.  Then she tried to nip (or worse, bite?) when I connected the cinch to the saddle which didn't even touch her.  That's when I lost it.  I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I knew I had to put her back in her stall and go home, or I would just start yelling at her, or pull hard on her halter, or smack her, all of which I did not want to do, I don't like doing and I would not be proud of myself if I did.  So I did what I felt I should do and left the scene!

I did a lot of thinking about this over this weekend.  While I consider my riding skills at probably an intermediate level, my horsemanship skills place me as a clear novice.  I wanted to lease a horse to practice my riding skills, my seat, my comfort level about being with a horse, and to find pleasure in the activity, but instead, while we've had many enjoyable days, I'm faced with a real challenge ahead of me.

I can't forget that we've made some really good progress, but I often feel that I'm in over my head.  When we have those bad days, I keep wishing for a pleasant, calm horse who is happy to be ridden and who can take things in stride.

While I feel really discouraged right now, I would like to look at this situation in a bright light.  I should realize that there's always a learning curve to work through.  That for every step forward we take, sometimes we have to take two backwards.  I should see that horses are living, breathing, feeling animals who also have good days and bad days.  I should look at it as a way to learn more about horses and what makes them tick and as a way to work through problems with them.  I should look at this as an opportunity to let Annabelle teach me about what works and what doesn't, and I should really learn how to do things I've never done before, like effective ground work. 

So, tomorrow, I will talk to the barn's trainer/owner and schedule a lesson with her.  I want her to check Annabelle out, and see if she has any sore or tender spots throughout her body.  I want her to check out the tack I've been using and make sure it's working for Annabelle, and I want her to teach me ground work exercises that I can use to improve my leadership skills.

I would like to give this a month or two, and see where it goes.  If I find that I'm making progress most of the time, I will continue to lease her and work with her.  Hopefully, this is just a setback that Annabelle and I need to get through in order to actually move closer to an ever stronger and trustworthy relationship!